Try Honesty
by Shikyou Daemon
Summary: Songfic. Memories which were long forgotten come to the surface. RufusCloud


Hi all! I own nothing.

Warnings: Implied incest, use of the word 'Fuck', Shota.

* * *

I tripped  
Fell down again  
I scratched my knees  
They bled

_As long as I've known, I've lived in this little dead end town with my mom, and occasionally my big brother._

Sew up my eyes  
Knead no more  
In our game there is no score

_I love him. He's got pretty hair and pretty blue eyes, he's nicer than the rest of the town. I love his visits, he knows so much about the world.._

Forgive me father  
Why should ya bother?

_'How come you have a daddy, big brother?'_

_Yes, how come you have a dad? Why is mine missing? Why is my mom looked down upon, heart broken? Why are we on the news, why do they stare at me when I go down the lane walking by you?_

Try honesty  
Try honesty...

_Tell me something, big brother. I know you know more than you're telling me. Why are you looking at me like that? How come you change the subject on why you only visit every once in a while? _

Hop in your dumb truck  
Leave us for good luck

_Big brother, it's cold out and you're not here anymore. Why, big brother, why? You leave so suddenly at night, and I miss you. Big brother, when will I see you again?_

Ride over me  
Ride over me...

_Will you bring father with you next time?_

Insane assult

_Big brother, I know that you're ashamed of me. That's why you only come at night, and you never take me with you wherever you go. Big brother, I want to leave. I don't like it here, why are me and mommy here? How come, big brother? Why are you always telling momma that you don't care what happens to us? Who's this man that keeps threatening her!_

So sly  
Your well of lies ran dry

_Why won't you tell me anything, brother?_

I pulled the cord  
Free fall  
So high I seem so small

_You're gone now, brother. Not like I care anymore. Said 'Fuck you' and out the door you went on my thirteenth birthday, the day my knees were so almost fully healed._

Forgive me father  
Why should ya bother?

_Yeah, well fuck you too, brother! When I join ShinRa, you'll see just like everyone in the village! I'll prove to you that I'm just as good! Then you'll come crawling back!_

Try honesty  
Try honesty...

_Oh my... Oh my fucking gods._

Hop in your dumb truck  
Leave us for good luck

_That's not you brother..._

Ride over me  
Ride over me...

_You aren't him..._

I took on the whole world  
The boys and young girls

_No, get away from me! You aren't my brother! Stop it you're not him, he'd never do that to anyone he's not like that!_

Die tragedy  
Die Tragedy...

_Zack's explaining everything. I don't hear him. I don't want to hear him. He's kissing me, telling me that it'll be okay and that it won't hurt bad for long. I don't believe him. We're thinking of different pains._

Call me a cheap-skate  
C'mon for pete sake

_Reno's taking me to a bar tonight. Brother said that he wanted to come. I told him to fuck off and now I'm crawling back towards my room. I think my legs are broken, I think that my nose is too. It hurts, everything hurts. Zack's sitting down next to me now, telling me to hold on and it'll be okay as long as he can get me to Hojo..._

Cry agony  
Cry agony..

_He's at my door, forcing his way in even though I'm trying to force it back and I'm screaming at him to just leave me alone and let me live my life._

Insane assult (sly)  
Insane assult (sly)

_A mission._

Forgive me father  
Why should ya bother now?

_He told me I'm going back to Nibelhiem, eyes as blue as mine unreadible and cold. Is he kicking me out? Is he just telling me to pack my bags, you're not going to make it Strife, your not._

Forgive me father  
Why should ya bother now?

_Said it's straight from our father. Said that it would be bad if word got out that we were related and that I was just a grunt._

Forgive me father  
Why should ya bother?

_It's wrong and I know it is. Brother, why do you seem to care about me then outright tell me to go die? Why are you smiling now and telling me that I'm going to make it straight to the top? Why are you telling me that after this mission, I'll be a real Solider!_

Try honesty  
Try honesty

I love you brother.

Hop in your dumb truck  
Leave us for good luck

_And we both know that we don't feel that 'brotherly love', shit. You never felt it, I can remember your hands on me, brother. You're a pedophile, and I liked it. Fuck you, brother. Fuck you while fucking me._

Ride over me  
Ride over me

_The car ride took forever, the events unfolding seem to be going into fast forward. I thought that I was sleeping in my bed before, then why am I here? Why is mother screaming in the house, why am I out here clinging to Zack and calling_ your _name instead of his._

I took on the whole world  
The boys and young girls

_"Brother, huh?"_

Die tragedy  
Die Tragedy

Cloud Strife's mako blue eyes snapped open, one hand flying up to grasp his chest where the familair pain of these 'reawakening memories' had errupted. Uh. It really hurt... But taking no mind of that, he eased himself into a sitting position, grabbed his pillow, and headed for the door that joined his room with another's.

Call me a cheap-skate  
C'mon for pete sake

"What's wrong?" Apparently he was still awake. The pile of blankets identified to be his lover shifted into a sitting position, and glowing mako blue and sleepy navy blue met.

Cry agony  
Cry agony...

"Couldn't sleep." The younger of the two blondes muttered as he climbed into the bed, reluctantly snuggling closer to the elder. "Nightmares..."

Cry agony  
Cry agony...

"I'll chase them away for you." Rufus reluctantly said, wrapping his healed arms around the other boy, chuckling as Cloud stiffened and muttered something along the lines of needing to switch Rufus' medication.

Cry agony  
Cry agony...

"Heh... Goodnight, Cloud. Love you."

Cry agony  
Cry agony...

"...Goodnight, brother. I love you too..."


End file.
